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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs."
Next Joke
"What do you call it when God masturbates? Jesus fucking Christ"
"If Jesus suddenly appeared today... I bet he would really hate nail guns."
"[My band playing on stage] New GF's friend: Which one is the boy you've been seeing? New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died"
"Hello, I'm a bird, I survived since dinosaurs roamed the earth but windows are too much for me to figure out."
"I used to have a student who suffered from suicidal thoughts but now I don't."
"What do you call a vegan zombie? A no-brainer."
"How do you cut the sea in half? With a seesaw (I'll see myself out)"
"My friends made me jump off the end of the dock... I'll do anything under *pier* pressure"
"Why is the mailman bad at sex? His package cums too quickly"