161945

Joke of the Day

"Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to stay in shape and you answer ""revenge"" it will raise a couple eyebrows."

"I've been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I'm actually talking to someone."

"A man once asked me what autodefenestration meant. Avoiding the question, I jumped out a window."

"Let's get this out of the way now. Next Wednesday, the date will be 12-12-12. Happy?"

"[1665] ME:Make it enormous ""But if I paint a red cross on ur door, ppl will think you've got the plague & never visit"" ME:Make it enormous"

"Joined a street protest. Suddenly a shot, panic and everybody started running. 3 hours and a gold medal later I realised it was a marathon"

"Someone on Facebook posted ""Having the BEST DAY EVER!!"" So I posted the Sarah Mclachlan animal cruelty video in the comments"

"What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ? The Codfather !"

"When humorists pole-dance it's called a comic strip."

"How was there no jackass in a giant penis costume at the women's March? That would of been hilarious. You would never see feminists beat a dick so hard."