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Joke of the Day

"Society: Be yourself ........ Society: No not like that"

"What do you call violence in the kitchen? Assault and pepper"

"If you ever see three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument a bank has just been robbed"

"According to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, when parents relax, children must increase the amount of disorder in the universe to compensate."

"Why is a laundromat a bad place to pick up women? Because if she can't afford a washer and dryer, she will never be able to support your broke ass..."

"Q: Did you hear about the imaginary tree? A: It was mapleleaf."

"Lesbian vampires What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month."

"Senate Republicans cancelled the vote on abortion restrictions. Does this mean they're going to try Plan B?"

"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist.."

"Any size pizza can be a personal pizza if you're depressed enough."