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Joke of the Day
"Why aren't sumos chummy with racecar drivers? They move in different circles."
Next Joke
"Whens someone says you've changed, it simply means you've stopped living your life their way"
"Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially."
"To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice"
"So I neutered my car yesterday ""You, what?"" Neutered my car ""..."" It's another word for fixed ""I wish I never gave you that thesaurus"""
"What do you call jokes on Reddit? Sit-down comedy"
"iTunes has got it all wrong. The hottest single of the year is me."
"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."
"Irony walks into a bar the same time as a Coincidence. The bartender asks what they want? ""Not to be confused with each other."""
"What word becomes shorter when you add two letters? Short."