161874

Joke of the Day

"I was raised by my father.. He's schizophrenic but he's good people."

"Q. Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant? Because it might be a moose steak."

"dog and the fly what did the dog say to the fly stop bugging me looool"

"How can you tell if someone's a vegan? Don't worry--THEY'LL FUCKING TELL YOU."

"On Fred's 17th birthday his Dad said he'd take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car the father said ""Just one thing Fred. If you're going to hit anything make sure it's cheap."""

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Lion Tamer Barbie ...lion is included; Barbie's head is not"

"Why was the pilot jealous of the chef? Because of his ground thyme."

"You're Doing It Wrong! What did the fellow redditor say when the first redditor put the punchline in the title?"

"I hate when people ask me what I see myself doing in five years time... It makes me think of a time I won't be able to repost this fucking joke. Fuck 20/20 vision."

"Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife? Because he couldn't sleep with anyone."