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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Edward get on the plane? Cause it was snowed-in."

"NyQuil before beer, nothing to fear. Beer before Nyquil, never been a 30-foot panda on the French Riviera selling kites to angry trees."

"Did you hear Apple is going into the wine business? Their vineyard will produce every varietal of wine... except ports."

"I can't wait to get married and communicate my disdain solely through aggressive dishwashing."

"What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom? A chicken stepping on a landmine."

"A nation cheers as Bigfoot is finally found. ""We just yelled his name,"" said the head explorer. ""Can't believe no one thought of that."""

"Sometimes in the mornings I have dirty thoughts about a dead girlfriend Mourning wood"

"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food? Hop suey!"

"I also do all my own stunts, but never intentionally."

"Scientists found there may not be as many benefits to flossing as we thought. Guess none of them have ever been to a party with spinach dip."