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Joke of the Day

"Starbucks coffee is disgusting. First of all it tastes like soap, second of all u have to get it from dispensers in the BATHROOM????"

"What's Donald Trump's favorite dessert? Vladimir Puddin"

"Life is like a bunch of chocolates It doesn't last long when you're fat."

"Son: can I get lunch money Dad: I have a boyfriend"

"How are dogs and addicts similar? They both have PAWS"

"Elmo: Oscar, why are you a grouch? Oscar: Growing up, my parents were- *stabs Elmo with broken beer bottle* CUZ I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN."

"I went into a convenience store today... I asked the shop keeper if they sell stationery there. He replied no, they're allowed to move around."

"Where do most illegal immigrants go in America? Allah-bama."

"They say laughter is the best form of medicine. Well unfortunately my insurance doesn't cover it."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year!"