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Joke of the Day
"Dad joke: What time do monkeys poop? Tree turdy."
Next Joke
"I once fell in love with an English Teacher.... ...I wrote her a love letter and she corrected it."
"Two men are making love in a meadow, they both are struck by lightning and die. Which one goes to heaven first? The one on the bottom because he already has his shit packed and ready to go."
"What do you call a gay man milking a cow? A Dairy Queen."
"Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket? He wanted to run his fingers through his hair."
"What is an apt gift for a female porn star that collects vintage comic books? An issue of *Giant Sized Man-Thing*"
"What's the difference between a shrimp with big tits and a bus station full of old people? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station!"
"Why didn't Herbert Hoover get re-elected? Because he sucked."
"My twittercide will be like the final scene in BraveHeart but a doughnut will fall from my hand in slowmo instead of an embroidered hanky."
"What happens when you pour acid on a basic bitch? She becomes salty."