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Joke of the Day

"My son asked me what humble means. I told him it means pretending you're not better than everybody else."

"My TCP server is getting fat Too many processed syn-acks"

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, ""Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"", says the parrot."

"FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous. SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue."

"What are the fattest letters? O.B.C.D"

"Who do you call when your x wing is stolen The poelice"

"What do you name a girlfriend you haven't had for a long time? Palmela Handerson"

"What disease did the house have? Shingles."

"Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you"

"We live in a society that's the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones."