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Joke of the Day

"My son asked me what humble means. I told him it means pretending you're not better than everybody else."

"I was running down a street and saw a bloke, I shouted ""Run quick, some lions have escaped from the zoo.""He said ""which way are they heading?"" I replied ""Well, I'm not chasing the fuckers."""

"Dudes that flip off the camera in pictures want you to know that they're tough and strong and not afraid of any fucking camera."

"What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff? Nothing, she had her mittens on."

"NSFW What word starts with a 'C' and then ends with 'U-N-T'? ""Count"" you dumb cunt."

"Justin Bieber said to be just devastated to hear the news on the Boston marathon . . . . . .but hopes that everyone involved are fans."

"I dropped my iPhone under the bed once so I get it, moms that lift cars off their babies, I get it."

"what kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits."

"Wanna hear a joke?? Womens rights!! Even better? They believe it!!"

"I was talking to a North African girl in her native language for hours. We just clicked."