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Joke of the Day

"I bought a 12 pack of condoms the other day. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag, I said ""Nah, I'll just turn the lights off""."

"In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you're trying to explain directions to an old man."

"What do you call a fat guy with an unhealthy interest in his mother? Adipose Rex."

"uber driver said he used to work at disney world and did acid all the time"

"What does Al-Libi use for his defense during his trial? His alibi."

"How can you tell that your dog just gave birth? It is now a parent."

"My wife of 58 years said let's go upstairs and make love. I told her ""Choose one, I can't do both."""

"Ok so the Past, the Present, and the Future walked into a bar. It was tense."

"does the voice recognition on your phone work i don't know im trying to submit a post on reddit please stop talking you're messing me up"

"Doctor: *taps knee with mallet* feel that? Me: No Doctor: or this? *jabs toe with a pin* Me: Nah Doctor: Just as I suspected. This is my leg"