161498

Joke of the Day

"How do you discipline a pet rock? You hit rock bottom"

"So the Disney alligator killed the 2 year old recently. I hope the alligator has a good time with the gorilla."

"Drunk Guy Guy: Dude I Wasn't That Drunk, Friend:Dude U Were WAtching TV And Laugh, Guy: Sooo -_-, Friend : The TV Wasn't On"

"Help, I need nerd jokes the average high school student can understand. Something along these lines, Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything."

"How did jew get beer? He brew"

"How to make your wife take care while driving? Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age."

"I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75."

"What does ""fingering a girl"" and ""using a chainsaw"" have in common? [NSFW] If you hold at the wrong position your finger goes down the shitter."

"-Joe's coming over. ""Joe from work or Joe who thinks he's the Norse god, Thor?"" [the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]"

"I bought the worst thesaurus the other day. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible."