65469

Joke of the Day

"No matter what amazing things you accomplish or how fantastic you are, a cat will always think it is better than you."

"""What's a VCR?"" My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones."

"What happened when Harry Potter had sex with a pig? He got hog warts."

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."

"I really like those Black and White movies where no one speaks Inter racial porn."

"Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert There once was a man named Barack Whose re-election came as a shock He raised taxes I pay And turned marriage gay And now he's coming after your Glock"

"Help oh god a I tied a balloon to my hand and now I'm two hours over the ocean held hostage by the wind"

"Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast? In France, one egg is un oeuf"

"Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got alzheimers."

"Okay to tell dead Steve Jobs jokes now? What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs."