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Joke of the Day

"joke is on you What's the opposite of funny? answer: Jay Leno"

"I once dated a meteorologist just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time."

"Professor: A wise man doubts everything. Only a pin-head is positive. Student: Are you sure of that sir? Professor: Positive."

"What do hillbillies do on Halloween? Pumpkin."

"Why are Jews so bad at baseball? They always get out on the third reich"

"What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny."

"Are you the new English teacher? Yes I are."

"Taught a parrot to repeatedly say ""WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?"" and now I don't have to talk to my kids until Spring so that's pretty cool."

"You may have a drinking problem - when your mother asks you to toast the bread.....and you raise your glass and say ""here's to the bread""!"

"Humans are like grapes... Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors."