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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment!!!!"

Next Joke
 
"I think someone may be sending me death threats. Woke up this morning with a [Tesco burger](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21038521) on my pillow!"
"What do you get when you cross a Classical German composer with an erupting volcano? Baklava. (It came to me in a dream last night. I dunno man..)"
"Her: ""How is it possible for anyone to be an idiot all the freakin time!"" Me: ""I know, I'm completely exhausted."""
"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic"
"Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Will keep you posted."
"What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs."
"[final debate] TRUMP: I'd like to apologize to hillary MODERATOR: umm ok HILLARY: umm ok TRUMP: I brought a gift *hands her a galaxy note 7*"
"What is Helen Kellers favorite color? Corduroy."
"I love how Simba acts upset when Mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called ""I Just Can't Wait To Be King""."