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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment!!!!"

"My crush said we can't be together because he's seeing another woman so I asked him to rub his eyes and check if I still look different."

"A toilet was stolen from my local police station. The cops said they had nothing to go on."

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"

"How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures."

"Why do trees die? They become board."

"Why do Women rub their eyes when they wake up? (NSFW) A: They don't have balls to scratch!!"

"What is a pirates favourite letter It is clearly double D as they are mostly males who can't stand a sunken chest and no booty. (New original take on old joke)"

"I'm AMAZED by mythology. I'll tell you about my favorite tales... if you have a minotaur two. (amazed... get it?)"

"A bigot redneck and a psychopathic grandma get into an arguement Someone filmed it and decided to call it politics"