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Joke of the Day

"The coolest thing about dating Mystique from the X-men is the unlimited free food samples she can get for you at Costco."

"I'm a optimist ...at least I think so"

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis, father, ladder I mean."

"Name as many weed names as you can. Purple kush, Sharks breath,God,Chewbacas anus gas. KEEP IT GOIN'"

"My most favorite joke Boy to shopkeeper : Do you have fairness cream ?. Shopkeeper : Yes. Boy : Then why dont you apply to your daughter :D ."

"Today's menu: 1 gallon of attitude, 3 cups of sarcasm, 2 tbsp of leave me the hell alone, and a generous cup of shut the f*ck up!"

"If I die, I'm gonna kill myself. I just couldn't live without me."

"I got into a fight against three people earlier and managed to knock one out... In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best time to masturbate."

"I was going to make a gay joke... Butt, fuck it."

"What white actor is going to play Prince in his bio pic? Peter Dinklige"