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Joke of the Day

"HER: Impress me. ME: I own a record label- HER: Ooooooo ME: er. A record labelER. It makes labels for my Abba vinyls."

"What do you call a happy ending at a Jewish massage parlor? Free."

"Asian keanu Asian Keanu arrives at a party Asian Keanu gets bored Asian keanu Reeves"

"At my funeral I want a dozen doves recaptured."

"Have you seen www.stickytape.com? Yes I can't tear myself away."

"As a white guy, it really bothers that only black people can use the word ""nigger"". Thats OUR word! I'm not racist. I just wrote a racist joke."

"Instead of going to college, just read a pile of books and barely do your laundry. Same thing."

"What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down."

"I like for my resolutions to be attainable so this year I resolve that I will neither become the pope nor will I become a cannibal."

"bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's Doctor: ""It's bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's."" Patient: ""Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don't have cancer."""