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Joke of the Day

"Why is the mens bathroom such an angry place? It's where all the pricks hang out."

"My wife came home with a duck under her arm... ""This is the pig I've been fucking"" she said ""That is a duck, not a pig"" I replied ""I'm not talking to you"""

"75% of men dont get enough fibre in their diet.. ....tough shit"

"You're mom is so poor... that if someone gave her the finger. She'd say thank you."

"What do you call a female mushroom who happens to be a killjoy? antifungal"

"Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun."

"The year 2932, lines for the new iPhone are so long, many die before reaching the end. Those who do, get back in line for the next phone."

"Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now."

"People are weird. Everyone knows door handles spread disease, but whenever I ask a business owner if I can clean his knob I get thrown out."

"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he will eat for a week."