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Joke of the Day

"Today we gain an hour thanks to Day Light Savings Time. What are going to do with it? ....gotcha bitch!"

"I'd say I avoid Facebook like the plague, but I don't do much to avoid the plague."

"How did Gertie Gorilla make the 'Playboy' Calendar? She was 'Miss Ape-ril!'"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Boris ! Boris who ? Boris with more knock knock jokes !"

"What's worse than a centipede with sore feet? A giraffe with a sore throat"

"Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that's ever served me... With just the tip."

"I'm not an alcoholic ... Alcoholic's need a drink, but I already have one"

"What breed will Donald Trumps dog be if he wins the election? A Border Collie"

"Perhaps the most gut wrenching part of my day is the moment I look in my fast food bag to see if they remembered my straw"

"It's raining in Italy That's why it has the shape of a boot and not a flip flop."