161025
Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend told me I need to show a little more interest in her family. So I f*cked her sister."
Next Joke
"A man walks into a bar... He asks the barman ""do you serve women here?"" The barman replies ""no, sorry, you'll have to bring your own."""
"Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there's a wormhole in my kitchen"
"What is the process for a terrorist kidnapping? Well, first Demascus, then they Baghdad!"
"What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ? A brick-layer !"
"I masturbate with soap Just thought i would come clean"
"I got a job installing elevators It's some next level shit"
"*Approaches girl at bar* Brain: Say you like her eyes. No, hair. Actually, go for eyes! Me: You have lovely hairy eyes Brain: My bad."
"The Russians official stance on the downed MH17 flight: Donetsk, don't tell."
"Roses are gray, violets are gray, tulips are gray Im a dog."