161004

Joke of the Day

"Let's call Trump the ""Second Place President."" He'll love that."

"""Old Macdonald had a farm. Had."" -banks"

"*crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks* What do you want? Him-Whatever you want. Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*"

"My wife keeps on calling me ""gullible"" and ""financially irresponsible"". So I beat her until she bleed to much then put her back in the closet until dinner."

"As a young girl she played the game Operation and dreamed about the day she could illegally harvest vital organs in real life."

"Ebola seems pretty serious I think I might take one more flinstone vitamin in the morning from now on."

"*stares at phone* why cant i sleep *puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun* oh"

"Did you hear about the avon lady ? Max Factor"

"When I was a kid my Fairy-Godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory I can't remember what did I chose!"

"Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin? They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm."