160752

Joke of the Day

"Look girl, all I'm saying is , if I have to choose between you and chocolate milk Be prepared to cry"

"My Netflix subscription feels like one of those abusive relationships people are afraid of leaving."

"1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, ""It has to look like an accident."" 4. Walk away."

"What's the difference between OP and a Pregnant woman? She delivers."

"I just went to a very emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers."

"Why do Ken and Barbie never have kids? Because Ken always comes in a different box"

"You're not really a parent until you swat blindly into the backseat, hoping to connect with a kid."

"If there's a denim jacket on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with a werewolf."

"What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant."

"Donald Trump is the candy corn of politicians Part white, part orange and sickening in large doses"