160579

Joke of the Day

"My Daddy taught me to lick it before I stick it- I say to the judges as I hang a spit covered spoon from my nose."

"Last name: Ever. First name: Greatest. Middle name: Hashbrowns."

"An anti-joke about lawyers. Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers."

"One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If they're OK then it's you."

"So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it."

"Why do hamburgers make good baseball players? They're great at the plate!"

"Someone told me: Don't fall in love, you might get hurt. I said: Don't live, you might die.."

"My wife reckons that recently I have become an awkward, arrogant cunt, and she just can't understand me. Seems like my French classes are going really well."

"Police headquarters was broken into last night. All the toilets were stolen. Investigators have nothing to go on."

"Rick Perry was going to do the ALS ice bucket challenge But he couldn't remember the 3rd person he was going to challenge."