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Joke of the Day

"What did the Nazi without a car say? Damnit! Now I'm going to have to sieg HAIL a cab!"

"Do you people like your catfish battered and deep fried?"

"I was once a man trapped in a woman's body... But then I was born."

"God could've saved us a lot of time by just giving us one commandment. Thou shalt not enjoy thyself."

"It might be time to diet when you ask Siri to call your "" boyfriend"" and she dial's up Domino's pizza"

"-Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!"

"All I want from Uber is to be driven around until I fall asleep, carried over the driver's shoulder into my home, and tucked into bed"

"Do you wanna know how to confuse a gay person? 7 ... It's a sign, you`re confused aren't you."

"What do Indian flowers grow? Patels (this may or may not have been inspired by a dumb facebook post I saw)"

"You know what's the worst thing about having sex with 28 year olds? You have to keep track of all twenty of 'em"