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Joke of the Day

"When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, ""A very good doctor""."

"Baby joke http://suryakanthi.info/baby-jokes/"

"President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to ""learn what it means to work."" May I suggest the same for members of Congress?"

"Damn girl, are you Life Alert? cause you just called the cops."

"Mad Libs inventor died today of POOPING. He is survived by his PIZZA CHEESE and his LAWN DARTS. He will be A DINOSAUR."

"Me: ""Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession."" Priest: ""You're off to a bad start."""

"What is it that separates humans from animals? The Mediterranean Sea"

"Yeah, it IS true that migrants do the jobs you don't wanna do. Like being a suicide bomber."

"The beauty of a text message is that it transcends time. You respond at your leisure. Unless it's from your wife, then you have 30 seconds."

"Mummies are basically just zombie burritos."