160358

Joke of the Day

"I used to be a People Person, but People ruined it for me!!!"

"Why can't Chinese people eat Swans? They don't have a Pitchfork. (This is a music reference joke)"

"Translator: We changed the Bible verses forbidding happy marriage to say gay marriage. King James: Same thing, what could possibly go wrong?"

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory... All I did was take a day off."

"What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch? Namaste"

"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I think Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."

"What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream? Sure, Bert!"

"When she screams ""deeper!""... But you're all out of poems."

"[NSFW] What's the difference between Harry Potter and Jews? Harry Potter came out of the chamber alive."

"I really didn't want to go the dermatologist... ...but my dad told me to face my fears! *thought of this while washing my face*"