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Joke of the Day

"My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right."

"smoking I use to smoke, I'll probably never say that I quit but I do stop for intermittent periods. I, like most people, call this lapse in my habit a ""relationship""."

"What is the difference between a diameter and a radius? A radius"

"You're following a man who once stole someone's garbage can lid and used it as an umbrella. That's on you."

"I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's ""The Final Countdown"" during the last 30 seconds."

"People tell me my humour is offbeat but they get weirded out if you walk around with a metronome."

"Why did Jerry Hall marry Rupert Murdoch? He's not much to look at, but he's a great listener."

"Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver? He always leaves you hanging"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind running a 5k, but my friends want to run in a 10k and I don't like 10ks"

"A Mexican and a Black are in the car. Who is driving? The Cop."