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Joke of the Day

"Conan: Texas recently had 9 earthquakes in a day. But don't worry: Scientists are hard at work figuring out exactly what God was angry about"

"Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and says ""You know I just ate my mother-in-law and she still doesn't agree with me!"""

"A young boy speeding way above speed limit. He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"If you ever come across a bear in the wild, throw a tiny bicycle at him. Then, just let his circus instincts take care of the rest."

"Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents? A: He's the stiff one."

"Why is the gay rights movement succeeding? The message is loud and queer."

"Why are divorces so damn expensive? Because they are fucking worth it!"

"What peanut butter do total dicks eat? Schmuckers."

"My teacher's got a pretty face if you can read between the lines."

"If Batman left church early... Would it be a Christian Bale?"