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Joke of the Day

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life"". But John came in fifth and won a toaster."

Next Joke
 
"Ok, I have two short jokes and one long joke... Joke joke jooooooooooooooooooooooooke!"
"You know what they saw about a guy with a large carbon footprint He is a big dick"
"You don't have to like me but at least base it on your own opinion, not someone Else's."
"I'm writing a story about a Pirate who sells corn... It's about a buccaneer."
"I've never been pleased to meet anyone."
"I don't know why everyone is suddenly talking about Twerking... My mate from Yorkshire has been doing it for years. As he says, it's how he gets t'money t'pay t'bills."
"How did Kim Kardashian get her hands on Liberace's bath robe? #GrammysRedCarpet"
"What do you get if you chop off Trump's hand? A Trump stump!"
"Don't lye. It makes you basic."