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Joke of the Day

"What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? Drowns."

"At Dunkin Donuts- 8: Can I get choc. milk? Me: We have that at home. 8: We have coffee at home too... Me: WHO TAUGHT YOU LOGICAL THINKING?!"

"How do you know your sister's on her period? Your dad's cock tastes like blood."

"In recent years the number of UFO sightings has dropped because of the smart phone. Their users never look up."

"A movie theater was robbed of $150 worth of candy The thieves took 2 bags of M n' Ms and a small soda"

"I love a girl with a trimmed bush.... Only because its makes it easier to see her through the window at night."

"What do you call a pessimistic melon? A cantaloupe"

"Why I hate 9/11..... I hate 9/11 because my cousins died doing their favorite thing... Flying Planes."

"I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday and Today. Edit: Also Tomorrow."

"*only shaves legs in the spots exposed by my ripped jeans*"