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Joke of the Day

"Here's how clickbait works"

"I was so drunk last night at the bar. When I walked across the dance floor to get another drink I won the dance competition."

"A joke for the British. Some urine got into my eye whilst cleaning the lavatories at a kid's nursery yesterday.... ....I'm putting in a claim for Pee Pee Eye."

"I can't turn my head very far in either direction It's a pain in the neck! My mom made that up."

"I'm that guy who plays Pictionary and draws the shittiest representation of the clue and spends the entire time circling it at various speed"

"How do you get a stranger to hop onto a bandwagon? You poke 'em on."

"What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch? Moo Mitch, get out the hay"

"*uses Mr. Clean magic eraser to wipe off your drawn on eyebrows*"

"In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I'm right."

"Someday I'll open a store that specializes in bedside furniture. The name of the store will be ""One"" I figure it'll be the only way I'll ever have a ""One nightstand."""