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Joke of the Day

"Whoever said that collectively women are the fair sex obviously didn't understand the meaning of fair, or women, or maybe even sex..."

"guaranteed Smile... possible Snigger if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up"

"""How much do you love me?"" Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you ""But it's so cloudy"" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know"

"Never discuss with your wife... ...because all you do is 'diss' and 'cuss'"

"QA Manager: And what is the protocol when an aircraft comes inbound with a suspected Ebola case? ""WTF. Planes can catch this shit too?"""

"I told my girlfriend I was named after Thomas Jefferson. She said, ""Your name is Brian."" I said, ""Right. But I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson."""

"I went to a Stevie Wonder concert last week and it was terrible. They moved the piano and forgot to tell him."

"How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn."

"How much does the average gay man ejaculate? I don't know but I hear it's an assload."

"Ever since they started calling pole dancers ""artists,"" I've been writing on my resume that my talents include ""moving in artistic circles."""