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Joke of the Day

"Stay away from a place called, ""Farm Fresh Restaurant"". I ordered the chicken soup. A rooster walked up and teabagged his ball$ in a hot bowl of water at my table."

"Why can you only date girls named Ana?... ...because I got a tattoo that says Ana"

"Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down the well? She screamed her fingers to the bone."

"Why was the old Jewish woman afraid her chauffeur got her pregnant? Because they schlepped together."

"Me: I found a job! Mom: That's great! What is it? Me: debt collection! Mom:.... Me..... Mom:... Me: I think you know why I'm calling."

"""How many people here believe in ghosts?"""

"[takes a massive shit on a bird in the park] See? Not nice, is it?"

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. Hey it could happen!"

"What do you call the german version of Harry Potter? Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas."

"If you blew up Mount Rushmore, what crime would you have committed? Four counts of defacing a national monument."