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Joke of the Day

"We have enough breakfast items for the toaster now, food scientists. Move on to the car heater vent."

"They call cat people crazy but we're not the ones outside at 5AM every morning putting fresh dog poop into tiny baggies."

"Only 3 living beings are immune to cold: 1)Polar bears 2)Penguins . And. . . . 3)Females wear!ng sleeveless & backless in winter parties."

"I asked my girlfriend to get me a newspaper... She said, ""Nobody uses newspapers anymore use my iPad"" and she was right, that spider died in one swing!"

"A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey! Get outta here! We don't serve your kind!"" The mushroom replies, ""Why not? I'm a fun guy!"""

"dispatch: we have a home invasion robbery in progress on the far side of the lake rowboat cop: *grabs oar* I'll be there in 6 hours"

"I found a typo on these Fruity Pebbles. For the serving size it says 3/4 ""cup."" They totally spelled ""box"" wrong."

"did you know if you throw a baby at a random group of people someone will always catch it so far"

"What is important in relationships? Reflexivity and transitivity."

"Holiday typo: ""give my beast to your lovely wife!"""