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Joke of the Day

"If you replace phrase ""Americans think"" with ""Americans with landlines who answer unsolicited calls think"" it all makes so much more sense."

Next Joke
 
"Don't like tipping bathroom attendants for merely handing me a towel. Maybe if he performed a service like wiping my ass I'd consider it."
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"Hillary Clinton is... hilarious."
"I just took a part time job at a vitamin store... for some supplemental income."
"Hey everyone. I created a new word today. Plagiarism."
"You know peanuts can kill a person! Well, they are nuts, after all!"
"Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine? It was soda pressing."
"Tuesdays go into Humpdays now don't they"
"What do you call a pig stuck in a topiary? A hedgehog."