158797

Joke of the Day

"Teacher Said The Student..?? Teacher said the students to convert the sentence ""I killed a person"" into future tense. Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is ""u will go to jail""!"

"Looked up from a text message and thought, ""Oh shit. I'm driving."""

"Why did the marijuana addict always turn his supply packet around when buying it? He heard the grass is greener on the other side"

"My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said ""Maybe"""

"What do you call a lazy sandstone? A sedentary rock."

"Start the day with a big bowl of why the fuck am I awake."

"Got involved in an alcohol-related pyramid scheme... What a champaign."

"The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest."

"Kid: Daddy can I give some of my candy to that duck? Me: No, ducks only eat things they find in nature, like bread."

"It may be autocorrect, but I'm excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress."