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Joke of the Day

"What yelling. Four while playing golf actually stands for It stands for, ""FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOURE ABOUT TO DIE!"""

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? It was two tired."

"I'm starting a magazine called ""Jugs"". It's mostly about pottery."

"My wife asked me what I was doing today... ...I said ""nothing."" She said, ""You did that yesterday."" I replied, ""I wasn't finished."""

"You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet."

"My girlfriend said, ""We should make love like they do in the movies."" So I shoved my dick in her ass and came on her face. She got upset. Apparently we watch different movies."

"I accidentally muted the command switch on my driverless car... ...well, it goes without saying."

"Que hace el pez cuando esta aburrido? Nada."

"One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere."

"Hey Reddit, Guess What? Chicken Butt..."