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Joke of the Day

"I had a normal childhood My mom only jerked me off once when I broke my arm, no more than that!"

"Today's a beautiful day... After all, nothing beats Mayweather."

"BRUCE WAYNE: How can I rid this city of crime ALFRED: Mental health care access, economic development, gun reg BRUCE: Bring me a cape"

"You should never yell ""Fire!"" in a crowded theater The gunman will shoot when he's ready, it isn't polite to rush him"

"I can still blame my unhealthy eating on ""the holidays"", right? President's Day is coming up."

"A hipster coffee shop would be a terrible idea. Everyone would burn their tongues because they would drink the coffee before it was cool."

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then peppery spray by the police... he is now a seasoned veteran"

"A recent survey suggests 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape"

"A man enters a party and says ""Is anybody here named Jeff?"" Jeff raised his hand and said ""Yes."" Geoff raised his hand and said ""Yeos."""

"I made a list on how to do an impersonation of Victor Meldrew a) Don't b) Leave it"