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Joke of the Day

"BRUCE WAYNE: How can I rid this city of crime ALFRED: Mental health care access, economic development, gun reg BRUCE: Bring me a cape"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A licalatapus"

"What do you get when you cross a foot with cookware? Potato!"

"I've been up for 20 hours. There's no way I could perform surgery right now. Mainly, because I have no medical training."

"how do you tell the difference between an extroverted engineer and an introverted engineer? the extroverted engineer looks at *your* shoes."

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust A guns only weakness is Obama and rust."

"When people shorten words for no reason it makes me want to commit murds."

"So this Kristen Stewart cheating stuff... Still a better love story than Twilight."

"Pineapple & Semen Isn't it odd that pineapple makes semen taste good, yet semen makes pineapple taste like shit. Credit to Harris Wittels"

"Two blondes are found frozen to death at a drive-in theater. They were watching ""Closed for the Winter."""