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Joke of the Day
"I heard the best time travel joke tomorrow."
Next Joke
"Monster now makes an energy drink which is part tea and part lemonade. The name of the drink is ""Rehab"", which begs the question... Is there something Arnold Palmer isn't telling us?"
"Chop, chop! - Chop, chop! - Who's there? - Han. - Han who? - Hannibal."
"[watching TV] GF: Tickle my back please ME: Is that nice? GF: Little bit higher ME: [very slightly squeaky voice] Is that nice?"
"A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is the sweetest thing ever."
"God made Heaven and Earth The rest made in China"
"Welcome to Earth, where we hate each other and put ketchup on everything."
"Dad to his adopted son ""What is the extreme limit of laziness?"" Son ""Having an adopted son."""
"What do you call an Anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese! -From *Cedar Rapids* the movie"
"What is an umbrella doing in the shower? Practicing"