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Joke of the Day
"I love comfort food. I'm going to eat a quilt."
Next Joke
"Wife walks up to husband and asks for money Wife: I need some money to buy a bra Husband: do you think you have breasts big enough to buy a bra? Wife: when you bought boxers, did I say anything?"
"Always wash your clothes in tide Because it's way too cold out-tide"
"I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition."
"What did Carmen's mom say when Carmen dropped her waffle in the sandbox? ""Where in the world is Carmen's sandy Eggo?"""
"What's an SJW's favourite animal? A Pander."
"Oral relief 'Darling, I want some.... Oral relief.' 'You mean you want a blowjob?' 'No, I just want you to shut up.'"
"I got 66 problems and being upside down is 1"
"The police are looking for a stole toilet from the police station. At the moment they have nothing to go on."
"Just look at the one picture I show you on my phone. Don't scroll to the next one."