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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people say ""you always want what you don't have"" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of ""want."""

"If life gives you melons You might be dyslexic"

"Did you hear about the brown paper bag cowboy? He had a brown paper bag hat, brown paper bag boots, a brown paper bag shirt, and a pair of brown paper bag pants. He was arrested. For rustling."

"""Knock, Knock..."" ""Who's there?"" ""I Love Mop"""

"I could've sworn there was less grunting and moaning the last time I put these pants on... Maybe the donut in my mouth muffled it"

"How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all you get a very large loaf..."

"Playboy is starting a new magazine specifically for married men. It has the same centerfold every month!"

"How do you get a baby into a shoebox? A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw."

"Top billiard player retires There are no queues."

"Kinda bummed that my pet goldfish died today of a bladder infection. Although to be fair, I probably should have realized something was up when the bowl kept overflowing."