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Joke of the Day

"$10 COMPLAINT A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"""

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"How much lube should you buy to prepare to have sex with a McDonald's fry cook with a cheddar fetish? About a quart to pound her with cheese."
"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts"
"FIRST MONSTER: I'm going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh are you? FIRST MONSTER: Yes I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends."
"In my day cartoons made sense. Chipmunks did all the rescue rangering and a rich duck swam in gold coins like they were water"
"[sees girl reading To Kill A Mockingbird] ""Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] kills all those frickin birds."""
"Q: What did the parent say when the little girl was whining? A: Leave it to peave her."
"Jesus loves you is always great to hear Unless you're in a mexican prison."
"""You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this"" -Guy who invented shovels"
"I'm not a fan of Nascar... I believe in equal rights."