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Joke of the Day

"Voltaire said ""To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize."" ...so I guess my granddaddy was right when he said that retards run this country."

"What would you call a set of old school rapper emojis? Em-OGs"

"What did the baby corn say to the Mom corn ? Where is Popcorn ?"

"I was singing in the gym shower & the girl in the one beside me started singing along & then suddenly my life became this weird, naked duet."

"A boy at church was asked if he knew what the resurrection was. ""Yes, and if it lasts more than 4 hours you're supposed to see a doctor."""

"The hardest part about being a photographer is deciding which half of my picture to ruin with my giant ugly company watermark."

"I hurt my back... ...and the head of HR asked me if I was limping. Apparently it is NOT OK to say ""Naw, just working on my pimp walk"". :)"

"The authorities just apprehended a notorious cereal killer. When they asked him why he did it, he said... ... he did it for the Kix."

"What do you call a small, noisy dog? A subwoofer."

"I can cut down a tree just by looking at it. ... .... It's true! I saw it with my own eyes."