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Joke of the Day

"Science fact: a dog extracts more information from smelling a pile of excrement than a human does from reading the Daily Mail."

"My wife has the body of a 16 year old She keeps it in the fridge."

"What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas? Cancer."

"Did you hear about the dairy farmer who got kicked off his farm for not having any livestock? It was a no cows eviction."

"Most of my life consists of trying to keep up with what's not cool so I can be sure to avoid any small talk."

"""SZA"" would be the perfect name for a lesbian member of the Wu Tang Clan"

"An honest lawyer. What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron."

"I got into an argument with my friend and he said, ""Yeah, well my dad can beat up your dad!"" I'm sick of these dad hominem attacks."

"Did you hear that Trump said he'd eliminate food safety regulations? It's the only way they can bring Trump steaks back."

"Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch hillbilly criminals? Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records."