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Joke of the Day
"Last night I was so drunk I blew chunks. Chunks is my dog."
Next Joke
"I bought a pair of shoes from my drug dealer. I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"
"A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich... After finishing his meal, he tries to pull out a gun, but the owner shoots him dead because he's seen this joke on /r/jokes a hundred times."
"I can dig graves my entire life and nobody calls me a landscaper, but i suck one dick! And they call me gay for life!"
"What kind of eye disease do vampires get? Dracular degeneration."
"What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow? Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe."
"Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs middle finger."
"The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble."
"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night, 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine.'"
"Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now."