101759

Joke of the Day

"I was redditing while on the toilet when... I almost dropped my phone..... literally scared the shit out of me"

"A son asks his old man... ""Dad, are you gay?"" ""Who told you? Was it your father?"""

"You did not have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up"

"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop Dr. Dre"

"What's the difference between the government and your wife? The government enjoys fucking you Edit: phrasing courtesy of tefkasm"

"What Do You Call A Story About A Broken Pencil? Pointless"

"Dad joke- Car sick. I was riding in the car with my cousin and uncle. My cousin says ""I think i'm getting car sick"". Her dad says, ""Well if you get out of the car then you'll just be sick""."

"Q.What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ? A. FireWeb .... of course!"

"Someone tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need."

"The breweries of the United States are planning to overthrow the government... It's a consbeeracy!"