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Joke of the Day

"What is a Canadian's favorite nirvana song? All Apologies"

"My friend had to amputate the front of his foot so I punched him in the face. I'm lack toes intolerant."

"What did the plant say to the runaway melons in love? You cantelope!"

"Excuse me, are you interested in courses on ancient Egypt? I promise it's not a pyramid scheme."

"A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach. ""That won't help you, Joe, you know?"" ""Oh it helps a lot,"" says the man, ""it's the only way I can see the numbers!"""

"How many people live in the lower part of Italy? There are literally Sicilians."

"Lionel Ritchie says 'Hello', by the way."

"If you're riding a horse at full speed along side a giraffe and a lion is chasing you, what do you do? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. Props to the radio station I heard this on today."

"What is it called when an Ethiopian takes a shit? Bragging"

"How is cat food sold ? Usually purr can !"