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Joke of the Day

"I entered my first masturbation competition at the weekend... I came last"

"I'm 30 but I still feel like I'm 20 Until I hang out with 20 year olds Then I'm like no, never mind, I'm 30"

"Sometimes ""4 star hotel"" means 4 porn stars have stayed there. In the same room. At the same time. With a camera crew. And a goat."

"I had my work appraisal yesterday. The boss said, ""There is no I in team."" To which I replied, ""But there is a U in cu*t."""

"There was a half black, half Asian kid in my school. What did some kids call him? A ""Chigga"" (i'm not a racist, but this made me laugh for long enough to post it here. Please don't get triggered)"

"Where do bears go after smoking some weed? Hibearnation"

"Why would you never starve to death in a desert? Because you'd probably die of dehydration first. While a human can only go about a week without water, it can go up to three weeks without food."

"I have the Emergency Alert Warning sound set as the ringtone for when my wife calls."

"if going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions"

"Why aren't cremations given out for free? Because you have to urn them."