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Joke of the Day
"I entered my first masturbation competition at the weekend... I came last"
Next Joke
"""You know what would make this rice even better? Racism."" - Pitch meeting for Uncle Ben's"
"After several Steven Segal films in a row, you'd think bad guys would know to avoid rooms that contain both him & a PoolTable"
"What does having sex with me and the holocaust have in common? There are people who still deny it ever happened."
"In my defense, they should have been more specific about which part of the restaurant I was supposed to ""Drive Thru"""
"My bank is really proud of me. They keep calling to tell me I have an outstanding balance."
"What do you call a boring taco? Aburrido."
"Cop: Have you been drinking sir? Me: Medium Double Quarter Pounder meal please. Cop: Step out of the vehicle. Me: Sprite."
"You've gotta hand it to short people.. Usually because they can't reach it"
"The wife just said ""right, pack ur bags and go ya lazy bastard."" I said,""fuck off...you pack them."""