157633

Joke of the Day

"If I had the power to control people's minds like Professor Xavier I'd probably just make them get me snacks."

"Myth: Have kids close in age. It gets easier and they'll have a friend to play with Fact: They'll fight. Every hour. Every day."

"Why do German shower faucets have 11 holes? Jews only have 10 fingers."

"Don't spell part backwards It's a trap"

"Success is like giving birth... everyone congratulates you in the end but nobody knows how many times you got fucked in order to get there."

"Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!"

"Third time's a charm... Is a much darker phrase in Germany"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. But how did two flies get in a light bulb?"

"You know you're getting old when you forget the name of the street you grew up on and break your hip and die."

"A nsfw joke :) what was ass to mouth called in the middle ages? turn the other cheek. (still. its funny :)"