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Joke of the Day
"Third time's a charm... Is a much darker phrase in Germany"
Next Joke
"Punctuation is everything: ""Will you marry me"" is a marriage proposal ""Will, You, Mary, Me"" = a Foursome Inquiry"
"What's the easiest way to get a virus into ISIS computer systems? By sending them executables."
"Raising children takes a village, preferably one with many vineyards."
"Tattooing bullet holes where I had a stomach ache so I never forget what I've been through."
"Donald Trump never seems to answer questions specifically. I guess the questions seem to trump him."
"My fat friend, who always says I'm cheating when I roll so much as a 16, just rolled a perfect 20. Ugh, I fucking hate hippo-crits."
"Why don't you ever say a joke about Jesus to a Christian? They become pretty cross..."
"Are you a shark, cause I got some swimmers for you to swallow."
"Did you hear about the couple of gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."