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Joke of the Day

"Third time's a charm... Is a much darker phrase in Germany"

"""Yes, I'm still single and underemployed, but at least I'm not MARRYING CHARLES MANSON"" --women at family holiday gatherings from now on"

"daylight savings I've been told my clocks have to go back tonight but I can't even remember where I bought them from"

"What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile? Convincing the sound to get into your van."

"A dyslexic man walks into an Arab."

"What do you call a rabbi that you scrap off your shoe? Resi-jew. I'm so sorry."

"How is ""Shark spotted swimming off the coast"" news worthy? Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different."

"A cashier asks a feminist, "" Cash or credit?"" She replies: "" Did you just assume my tender?"""

"One person gets an idiom wrong and it spreads like wildflower"

"There's three things you should know about me, I'm Canadian, I watch Hockey, and... I'm sorry."